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tiredTonight was the christmas dinner organised by one of the clients at
The Cedar Foundation
Which was great!!!!!!!!
I got picked up at about half 6. My friend who was going, said that her husband could take me, since she was going too, and we were both going to the same place. It made more sense, rather than me getting our local transport scheme.
We went to a place called the Countrymans. We were all in a room of our own, which was good. The christmas spirit was really up, as there were crackers at our tables, and party poppers, and such.
About 10 minutes after we arrived, our orders started coming.
For starters, i had Vegetable soup, with a roll. Can you tell i like it? Since that was all i had for lunch at
The Hotel
Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, for the main course, i had Turkey and ham, with all the trimmings, except Yorkshire Puddings. It was beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!
After, i had a gorgious Pavlova with cream. It was yum!!!!!! The perfect end to a lovely meal!!!!!!!!!!!!
About 10 minutes after, we did a secret santa thing. We each had braught our presents to the dinner, and they were all put into a big sack. I got a beautiful bag with a pair of gloves!!!!!! It was lovely!!!!!! Whoever got me it, thanks.
Secret santas are much better!!!! Plus they are fun!!!!! It means that nobody is left out, and everyone doesn't have to waist time buying every single person in the country!!!!!!! Plus it's really exciting knowing what you might get, and wondering who has got you what!!!!!!!!
After that, some woman came to talk to us about setting up our own social group.
The craic was 90!!!!!!!! I would like to say a huuuuuuuuge thanks to Morene for being great and organising it. Also thank god a certain other person wasn't there. There is this person who is really annoying, and likes to make sure that i am alright. The only problem is that he makes false accusations, and doesn't like me being independent. Thank god he didn't ruen our night!!!!!!!
Thanks again Morene. All of the group, in fact, were really awsum!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks guys!!!!!!
I love the way the social calendar increases before christmas. I'm off to a panto tomorrow night, then next Friday i will hopefully be able to go to a christmas party thingie at Cedar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Would rather do that than sitting in the house!!!!!!
In response to
My last entry
I would just like to say that everyone on my friends list are safe. I have removed those dead journals that just clutter up space. So everyone can relax- it's not you who's gone!!!!!
If you read this you know that you have survived, and that i still want to read all your entries.
Just letting you know the bizz.
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happy( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )
03:57 Is awake at a stupid hour. I hate messed up sleeping patterns! It's 3:56 here. #
05:35 @brianhartgen I've been having weird sleeping patterns for a while now. But I'm on holiday, so it's ok, I think. #
05:35 @BlindTwit Heh, I just go w/ the flow & don't complain. #
05:46 @TerryClasper Cool will tune in. Like listening 2 you. #
05:46 @BlindTwit Yes, this is deff true, but trouble is good sometimes ya know... #
05:54 Good on people 4 being organ doaners. It's fantastic! #
05:58 @TerryClasper Plz play a song w/ a fast tempo! Need 2 get out of bed & have some coffee! Need motivation! #
05:59 Coolness! Skype for Symbian! I'm geting the app now!! #
06:36 Cool! Is up and running w/ Skype on my N82! #
06:43 Yea 4 accessible, although clunky, chat part of the Skype app on my N82. #
07:44 @BrileyP Why is being awake over rated? It's great to be alive, & as I always say, grab life by the horns & run w/ it! #
07:55 @BlindTwit Negatory re the lifestyle. Refers to TX cattle and beeff, or TX Longhorns, of which I'm not a fan. Mind in gutter this morning! #
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Hi all!
My name is Chelsey. I am a senior at Oglethorpe University in Atlanta, Georgia. I have a rare form of Ehlers Danlos, which leads to many fun things, mostly skin issues but also mobility.
I have been offered an internship with the Royal Association for Disability Rights for three months this summer, in London. I am looking for grants/scholarships to fund this, as I am also going to grad school in the fall and will probably need loans for that.
Do any of you lovely people have any ideas of organizations I could look into?
I'm legally blind uncorrected, but not a wheelchair-user so that eliminates some things...
Helen Keller once said, “...Life is either a daring adventure or nothing,” and I cannot agree more.
I run one hand along the shelves of the kitchenware’s section, the other holds my guide dog’s leash. I am careful not to knock anything over. If anyone hears a crash they will spin around and cluck their tongues at the crazy blind lady, or blind ladies, because there are two of us. Nancy, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
baxaphobia, follows along behind me. She holds onto Her guide dog in her left hand, and the handle of one of those big, huge, ugly, red target carts in her right hand. She’s pulling the cart along behind her because it’s the only way to do it if you’re using a guide dog. I give her a running commentary of what I’m groping on the shelves.
“glass bread pan…cool mixing bowl…oh look, it’s a bunt pan condom!” I exclaim with excitement.
“A what?” she asks with skepticism.
She pulls the cart up behind me and lets go of its handle to reach for the object I am holding. This is just how we do things, every trip to Target, or any store, it’s always the same. We grope along, and we give each other verbal commentary of what we find, and then we exchange our finds for inspection.
“Look,” I say again, “it’s like this rubber thing with a hole in the middle. It feels like a bunt pan but it’s rubber.”
I hand it over.
“It’s not rubber, it’s silicone. Haven’t you ever seen one of those?”
I hadn’t.
On another day I was groping my way through the plus sized clothing store. I was on a hunt for things that didn’t look like fat lady clothes. You know the kind of thing that looks like sofa upholstery . I was feeling my way along a round rack of clothes. I can do this quickly, because if at first touch something isn’t soft, or the fabric feels icky, I know I won’t wear it. Even my family knows they better close their eyes and take a good feel of an article of clothing before they think of buying it for me as a gift. So I’m pawing my way around the rack when I see this bright yellow thing. I adore yellow and always have, because it’s bright and I can see it. In my excitement I reach for the bit of yellow ecstasy, and I set my hand down on the ample breast of a large woman, because we are after all in the plus sized clothing store. I was mighty embarrassed.
I cleared my throat and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
You know the blindness card, it sometimes works to foster a little understanding., and then again, sometimes not.
“Apparently not,” the woman said, “Perhaps you need some help shopping?”
Her comment ticked me right off. I mean really, I had no desire to take a feel of her fleshy chest but I had every right to try my hand, literally, at shopping independently.
“No, I like groping through the store on my own, just to see what I can find,” I replied with a smile, returning to my tactile inspection of the rack.
When I glanced up again she was gone.
When I was a child I was a bit reserved. I had to learn to feel my way through the world. Everything I see isn’t real. I don’t mean that in a freaky sort of way. What I mean is that a pair of shoes on the floor can look like my cat. A tree or a lamp post can appear as a person to inquire directions from, and a cow and a horse look just alike. I really can’t truly tell what everything is until I set my fingers upon it. That first touch, it tells me the truth. It brings reality to all the lies I see when I look around me. So as a child I was always touching things when we shopped, learning to be ever so careful. When the coloring of the ground beneath my feet would change I’d reach out my foot to inspect it, or I’d bend over and press my palm to the ground. That one touch could tell me so much.
In a world where we place such great value on beauty, I have learned to feel out my own way. Where the brilliant colors of flowers, a picturesque sunset, the light in a baby’s smile, or the majesty of a redwood tree have such value to us, I have learned to find the beauty that lies under my fingertips. When people proclaim my misfortune at not being able to see all the wondrous things around me, I smile and inform them that I have ten eyes to see with, not just two. I tell them that eyes lie, at least in my world. When people ask if I want to feel their face, I screw up my expression with disgust and explain that it is such an intimate gesture to share with just anyone, and I shake their hand instead. It’s amazing what you can tell by someone’s hands, they are like a window into the soul. Hands tell the truth about work, emotion, tension, and strife, faces, which are only seen, lie.
So really, I’m quite proud of my little hands with short, pudgy fingers. They have served me well thus far, and I love to take them out groping here and there in the world. I come across a lot of beautiful things, and slimy things too, and sometimes I get my hands into trouble, but all in all, it’s worth it to just go exploring. You never know what you’ll find if you just close your eyes and look.
Just to let you all know that i am planning to do a friends list clean up. My reasons for doing this are mainly because the people i am unfriending hardly write in their journals, and i feel that they are just cluttering up the list.
Don't worry-most of you will stay. The ones i am deleting haven't written in a few months. Comment here if any of you would like to stay though!!!!!!!!!!!!
All you regulars will stay though, so don't worry.
Just thought i'd let you all know.
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therealljidol Week 7-One Touch ( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )
amused | VoicePost  891K 4:40 | (no transcription available) |
My LSAT is a 154 and my UGPA is 3.6. I might attend a lower ranked school and then try to transfer to a higher ranked school. It is not impossible, but I hear it is rather difficult. Why is that?
Re-taking is not an option for me.
It's very cold and snowing and windy, so I thought I'd make ginger bread.
( And here's the recipe )
It's 19 degrees with a wind chill of 3, so definitely a day to stay inside and cook warm and yummy comfort food. Haha. I wish we had some hot chocolate and those little mini marshmallows.
Well today was our anual christmas lunch with the
Cedar Foundation
We have it every year as a sort of thank you from Cedar.
Anyway, i was due to be picked up at about 10:30. Well that time came and went, and it was about 11 o'clock when i thought that maybe it had been canceled, or else i had been forgotten about. I rang up the Cedar foundation, and found out that i was just going to be collected lol.
I was picked up at about 11:15, and off we went to pick up another volunteer, before heading up to the restaurant. We got there at about 12 o'clock, with plenty of time to spear, since the meal wasn't due to start until half 12.
There were about 15 of us all together. Most of them were from the main branch of Cedar.
Anyway, i had Soup and a sandwich. My sandwich came out first, which was a bit weird. Me and another volunteer got ours mixed up though, as his sandwich was bacon, while mine was ham lol. And the amount of red onion that was in it!!!!! I had to fish through it lol to get it all lol. Apart from that, it was nice.
For dessert, i had a chocolate tart, with cream and an orange sauce. The tart was so hard that i had to use a fork and knife lol!!!!!!!!!
While at the lunch, i met a person who teaches JAWS, so we got chatting about all that wonderful technology and that. She told me that there is a demonstration day in January for JAWS 11 at the main branch of Cedar, and she says that she will get me an invite lol. We had a good chat about how cool JAWS was and what we both did.
We were getting ready to go at about 2 o'clock, when this woman i was talking to about the JAWS was like "You must come over to our place to see around it!!!" We said yes, as this was only across the road.
I got to see all around their IT sweet, which is much bigger than our place. In fact, the whole building is bigger lol.
We finally went to the kitchen, where i met an old school friend!!!!!!!! I was introduced to her, and i thought "I recognise that voice", and sure enough, it was my friend from school!!!!!! Me and her had a good weee chinwag.
All in all, it was a good day. We went home after talking to my friend.
I am so glad that i'm still kept on as a volunteer. I hope that some day i will find a paid job, but who knows. Thanks guys at Cedar for being so helpful and such good craic!!!!!!!
grateful
You know the way i usually post about the weeks spoilers for
The Archers?
Well this week they haven't been put up yet on
This Site
I hope they will be put up soon, but if they are not, then appologies.
Just thought i'd let you know.
"Primal Mystification", a full-length release by mystified, is now available at Hypnos Records, from the Hypnos Secret Sounds sub-label. Free samples, descriptions, and an order link are all here:
Primal Mystification At Hypnos
"Primal Mystification" emerged from drone sounds, similar to the way we humans emerged from the primordial ooze. Oscillating ambient bell washes were created using field recordings and mystical effect processes, and then simple rhythmic and melodic phrases evolved from the primal material. Sometimes there is a change or development in the rhythmic material, and always there are changes in the drones, behind, as they shift and flow. "Primal Mystification" is a musical union of form and formlessness.
This is Gaia playing with me one morning last week. XD She's 1yr 2 months now.
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bouncyDoes a J.D. help your application for some PhD programs?
(i apologize if this has already been addressed)
I have my baby back!! My laptop, it's fixed!! OMG, OMGOMG!!! I am so happy, I made a new, crude (pick your meaning)icon. Because nothing says happy like a skinny, funky looking stick man doing repeated pelvic thrusts. I'm even tempted to make him thrust faster, I'm so damn happy!
And even better, I have back all the documents I had on here, my TextAloud that I have lost the registration key for so I couldn't get it on my desktop, I have my pictures, my emails, everything but my DVR drive because that is still fucked up, but I can totally live without it because I have my damn data back and my mobility.
I LOVE MY DAMN DADDY!!! He fixed it for me, last night. John finally found a good price on a motherboard and we got it in the mail yesterday afternoon, my dad had my laptop fixed in a little over two hours. That's why, IMHO, my dad and my husband are the two very best men in the world! At least till the next time I have to go on a long car ride with my dad. Right now, though, he's my friggin' hero!
I am so glad to have my laptop, my old one back. Even if we could afford to buy me a new one, I didn't want it, I wanted MY laptop. ::Hugs it::
15:09 @arm4r congrats on passing the mpre! Good on ya! #
19:09 Has just been playing w/ a Vodem, purchased 4 me from @blindtwit Very nice 2 use & accessible also! I love you sweetie. #
19:13 @BlindTwit Yep, some people say it with food, flowers, chocolate.. We say it with technology! #
19:34 @BlindTwit Ah, but there's speed & reliability. I'd rather have reliability every time over speed. So, there. #
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contemplative
Mister Vapor is another brainchild musical project by Saint Louis, USA citizen Thomas Park, well known in the netaudio scene by his Mystified alias. Mister Vapor, however, goes deeper in the Ambient-slash-IDM pursuits by Mystified, offering richer and more detailed - and mostly dark - soundscapes.
Drones also make an appearance in 'Almost Forever', of which 'Hamscape' is a track to remember. Closely followed by 'Disease' in my favorites list. When not applying beautiful and hypnotic drones, Thomas is doing other damn good ambient tracks, like 'Chordscape' with its downbeat IDM style; or 'Diesel', which surprisingly sounds like a stripped-to-the-bone ambient hip-hop tune. Thomas does it all and in the end manages to look good in the picture.
This is a fine ambient album and will look great next to your Pete Namlook collection.» - Pedro Leitão
Almost Forever at Test Tube Records
Posted to the Daisy Talking Books mailing list
Amazon's Kindle to get audible menus, bigger font
By Jessica Mintz
Associated Press
Posted: 12/07/2009 01:55:11 PM PST
Updated: 12/07/2009 03:47:24 PM PST
SEATTLE <http://amazon.com>Amazon.com will add
two features to the Kindle e-book reader to make
the gadget more accessible to blind and vision-impaired users.
Monday's announcement comes a month after
Syracuse University in Syracuse, N.Y., and the
University of Wisconsin-Madison said they would
not consider widely deploying the device as an
alternative to paper textbooks until Amazon makes
it easier for blind students to use. Both
universities bought some Kindles to test this fall.
The Kindle has a read-aloud feature that could be
a boon to blind students and those with other
disabilities including dyslexia, but turning it
on requires navigating through screens of text menus.
Amazon said Monday it is working on audible
menus, which would let the Kindle speak menu
options out loud. It's also working on an
extra-large font for people with impaired vision.
The additions should reach the Kindle next summer, Amazon said.
Chris Danielsen, a spokesman for the National
Federation of the Blind, said Monday that the
organization doesn't know enough about the new
features to say whether they adequately address
concerns of the blind community. But, he said,
it's a good sign Amazon is expressing commitment to improve the Kindle.
( continued below cut )
Gacked from wednesday42 (*waves*);
You know how sometimes people on your friendslist post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when were they working THERE? Since when were they dating HIM/HER? Since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.
( MEME )
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I have no idea how it got to be December, (18 days until Christmas? Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!), but it is what it is. I have yet to start Christmas shopping. That will hopefully be rectified sometime between now and the 25th.
I've been doing some thinking lately about a lot of things: grad school, work, where I am now and where I want to end up. Recent events here have caused me to rethink relocating. A month ago I was appointed to serve on the Governor's Council on the Blind, which brings issues and concerns of blind Delawareans to the attention of the governor. It's a three-year term, and I've been to two meetings thus far. I really like the group of people I'm working with, and I am very thankful that I have the opportunity to serve in this capacity.
I have also spoken to the director of our local blindness agency, and the idea has been tossed around of having me come on board with them as a contractual employee in regards to assistive technology needs. How I understand it, I would be self-employed, with my own AT Business, and they would contact me as needed. This idea very much excites me; I think I would be good at it, and I would enjoy it.
As far as grad school goes, Salus University, in Pennsylvania, offers an online Masters degree program in the degrees I want. I would go for a degree in teaching blind students and a certification in rehabilitation teaching. I was at first hesitant about this, as I wasn't sure about the whole online thing, but some plusses are that I wouldn't have to relocate, I could do work anywhere, and (I wanted to think of a third thing, but one escapes me at present). I've started looking into the application process, and it's slightly discouraging that the online app isn't that accessible. I have an email into the director of the program about this, so hopefully something can be worked out so I can fill it out independently.
As part of the supporting documentation to be submitted, the score of either the GRE or the MAT can be sent. I'm scheduled to take the GRE, and I still might just do that, but I took a quick look at what the MAT entails, and it seems more straightforward to me. I'm not even sure at this point if I could switch tests now, (if that's even allowed), but I haven't taken the GRE, so I shouldn't think it would be a problem. I'm not sure if it would look bad if I canceled my GRE, (which hasn't been scheduled yet to my knowledge), or if I should just go ahead and take it since that's what I was planning on first. So yeah...a lot to think about.
In other news, my Thanksgiving, (because I haven't posted since before then), was very nice, low-key, spent in good company and with good food. Goalball and judo are going well. I started doing judo regularly two weeks ago. I greatly enjoy it and am looking forward to competing. It's also good for self-defense.
I'm not too sure what else to update on, and perhaps this entry is long enough as it is. I'll be back with more as it happens. I hope all are doing well.
thoughtful
And so you get an idea of scale: 
3
There are few remaining survivors...
contemplative10:19 @swmartin Jonathan should get the sweetist man title in the southern hemesphere. #
10:29 Whenever I think about excellent times in Lubbock TX, or here in NZ, will always think of The Explosion. #explosionmemories #
17:36 @BlindTwit Yes, some good, greasy KFC chicken is what we need! Be loud & proud of this fact. Oh, & of course, some Lindauer is necessary! #
17:43 Just returned from having a pedicure, complete w/ a massage chair! It w/ very lovely indeed! Will deff return. #
17:50 One of the ladies who works in the nail shop, said she loved my toes. Said they were gorgious! Thx dad 4 toes that look like yours! #
17:51 @arm4r Ya should have some KFC Angie. It's calling you! #
17:54 @arm4r That's right. Forgot you're on eastern time. I'll eat some for ya. #
19:03 @BlindTwit Accepting things/events gracefully is the best thing to do, I believe. #
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http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/06/busin
| VoicePost 648K 3:25 | (no transcription available) |
*sings* studyin' law. making a responsible choice for my future... being a lawyer had better be awesome
Well, don't worry readers. I am still alive. It's just been so busy with school, and every time I think about posting to this journal, I have a guilty conscience knowing that there is so much homework I should be doing. I think writing is something that should be enjoyed, and therefore I decided that catching up on my journal would be my reward when all of my school projects were turned in, and as of Thursday, they all were. I suppose I do have a little bit of a guilty conscience because exams start this Friday, so I should be studying. But the way I have looked at studying since elementary school, to the extreme frustration of some of my teachers, is that since it is not an assignment to be turned in, you don't really have to do it. So often, I don't. Life is too short after all to spend it cramming useless information down your throat that you will just forget after the test anyway. An assistant that I had from fifth grade through the first semester of my senior year in high school liked to say, "You either know it, or you don't." She used this saying when I was taking a math test and was spending too long on a problem that I simply didn't know how to do, and although what she probably wanted me to get from that statement is that I need to study more, math is so cumbersome for me, I didn't really know how to study for math tests, so I think the saying could apply to situations where no matter how much you study, there are simply concepts that are never going to come to you, so you might as well not beat a dead horse by studying too much. Actually in all seriousness, I probably will study for my exams this semester because the statistics class, and the research methodology class I took this semester were pretty involved, and due to the facts that college exams are worth a greater percentage of your grade in college than they were in high school, I don't want to repeat any classes, and I am fortunate to have parents willing to pay my college tuition, I want to do well on these exams. But I have a whole week to study, so for now I am going to kick back, and enjoy writing in my journal again.
There is so much I want to update you on from all that has happened to me just this semester to reflecting on my life last year at this time, when Gilbert and I were about to celebrate the successful completion of our first semester, and our first Christmas together. I knew that first semester last year would be crazy because I had so much to adjust to all at once, from college classes, to dorm life to my first guide dog. But I figured sophomore year would be a walk in the park because I would be an expert in college life. As usual, I was wrong. Between three projects that we had to work on the whole semester, and having surgery unexpectedly, a story I could not do justice without giving it an entry in and of itself, this semester has been crazy as usual. But for this entry, I want to reflect back on what I was feeling as Gilbert and I were drawing near the end of our first semester of college.
Maybe I should pick up where I left off in August and talk about life after Gilbert and I graduated from training. Unlike the sense of sadness and loss I felt after my high school graduation, when I got home from my graduation with Gilbert, there was not a trace of sadness in me, only a glorious feeling of independence and hope. I didn't even have the emotions I described just before the start of my training with Gilbert, the feeling that once I had a guide dog, I would never again be the carefree child with absolutely no responsibilities toward another living creature. On the night of my graduation, I realized that I really didn't want to go back to childhood because the end of childhood meant nothing compared to the joy of a new beginning. So shortly after getting home the night of graduation and putting Gilbert to bed with one of the dog treats the president of the program gave me in a goody bag, I was thrilled to realize that this was the first official night of our life as a working guide dog team. The next day was a honeymoon of sorts. My parents both had to work, and it was so exciting to realize that Gilbert and I had the day to ourselves. The dog trainer would not be coming. We were ready to be an independent team! After waking up that morning and doing our usual routine of taking him out and feeding him, I was overcome with the urge to go for a walk, to prove to the world that we were certified now, and ready to go out and seize the opportunities that independence could bring. However, I also knew that my parents would not want me to go for a walk on our country road when Gilbert and I were still such a new team. Actually, while I walk independently on campus, my parents still don't want me to walk on our street alone because there are a lot of idiots who think that they can speed down our street, and drive really close to the left side of the road where Gilbert and I walk. Of course, Gilbert and I were trained to move over to the grass at the side of the road when we hear a car coming, and wait there until the car was gone, but there is a hairpin curve where the view, and the sound of oncoming traffic is obscured by trees, so Gilbert and I might not notice cars coming until it was too late. Although it would be really cool to be able to walk the route to Calhoun myself, I know my parents' concerns are warranted, so I haven't protested too fiercely yet. So anyway, I certainly was not going to get this wonderful first day together off to a potentially tragic start by breaking the rules and taking Gilbert for a walk by myself. But just when I was getting disheartened that I would not get to take a walk on my first day with Gilbert since my parents got home late in the evening, I remembered a really nice neighbor friend who told me once that if I ever wanted to take a walk, just give her a call. So that is exactly what I did, and although her life is busy and she often is not home, to my great joy, she was home that day. In a matter of minutes, she came to the house, I had Gilbert harnessed up, and I was taking my first sort of independent walk without the dog trainer or my parents! The neighbor was a little bit protective by insisting that we take a different route than the one Gilbert and I had learned so that we could avoid the hairpin curve, it was still exciting, and it was the first chance I had to advocate for myself and Gilbert. The dog trainer had told me that when I take walks with other people, I should have them stand a few feet behind me rather than walking beside me so that Gilbert and I can lead the way. Anyway, it was a gorgeous sunny day, and he was not at all scared to work without the dog trainer, and as usual guided me beautifully and I found myself striking up conversation and enjoying the fresh air as though it was just another walk with a friend, not our first walk as an independent guide dog team.
After the walk, the neighbor came back to my house, and we spent a couple hours squeezing the juice out of lemons so that my mom could make lemonade. My neighbor never fails to think of something fun to do, and I had actually never squeezed lemons, so I enjoyed yet another new experience. I don't remember what I did the rest of that weekend, but I do remember that the honeymoon was short lived. That Monday, August 25, I had to begin another kind of training, learning how to use Jaws when I had grown up only knowing how to use the braille note, and a little bit about windoweyes. Since I hated windoweyes, and since I found out while visiting with the Disability Services Coordinator that the computers on campus are equipped with Jaws, my parents and I knew that it was something I needed to learn in order to be more successful in college. But with the busy summer we had due to the wedding, and preparing for Gilbert, we had forgotten to set up my training, and if I wanted to get any training over summer, the week after Gilbert's training ended was our only option. So Monday and Wednesday of that week, I had my first two lessons with Jaws, on Thursday Mom and I went to Walmart to buy supplies for the dorm, and on Friday, just one week after graduating with Gilbert, it was move-in day at the dorm for freshmen!
When my sister left home for the college dorm just before I started seventh grade, I had pictured the process of graduating to the dorm as something exciting, and I suppose it was exciting for me too. But I never really appreciated until that day how it is exciting and stressful at the same time. I think the reason it was stressful was because it would be one thing if I just had to worry about moving into the dorm and getting my closet and refrigerator organized, but two factors made it more stressful for me than it might have been for other college freshman. First, I was packing for two, myself and Gilbert, and although the stress of having to fit a lot of stuff in close quarters was reduced considerably by the fact that I had been issued a private room, there was still less space than I had at home, so my mom and Dad had to be strategic in deciding how to use the limited space efficiently, while still keeping everything easy to find. Despite our efforts, I still had to call my mom at work Saturday morning and ask where we had decided to stow the poop bags (smile), and even after a week in the dorm, I still went to Gilbert's closet first when looking for my shower supplies. Moving into the dorm was also made more stressful because of the fact that I only had four days to adjust to dorm life before school work was added to the mix. So on move-in day, I had to simultaneously think about setting up my dorm room, and making sure I was ready for school. This meant that my bed was barely made before Dad said we needed a technology guy to come and configure my braille note for the campus internet network because my computer that the state Department of Vocational Rehabilitation was supposed to have ordered in time for school to start had not arrived yet. And as if the combination of these factors did not make move-in day stressful enough, freshmen were hardly given any time to move in before we were required to go to various meetings, and orientation activities, and the time we did have kept getting interrupted constantly when an outgoing blind student who had just graduated brought a whole bunch of his friends to welcome me. My parents and I knew we should be hospitable because I wanted to have friends in college, but being social meant we had even less time to discuss how I wanted to set up my room.
The activities themselves were also stressful. One of the activities involved outdoor icebreaker games where I had to stand on the sidelines because participation would have been too stressful for both Gilbert and me. Gilbert and I were already stressed enough because when we had practiced my college routes with the dog trainer, the campus was practically empty. But now with 650 freshmen and their families on campus, Gilbert and I just couldn't stomach that much chaos yet. That, in addition to the fact that some of the meetings were held in places Gilbert and I were not yet familiar with, meant that this first day, my parents just did sighted guide with me holding Gilbert's leash. Needless to say, by the end of move-in day, I had a headache. Yet despite all of this stress, I was also excited to realize that I was actually living in a college dorm, and I know it is terrible to say this, I couldn't wait for my parents to leave. My parents decided to stay a little later than parents were supposed to because of my special circumstances. But while they were a tremendous help to me, I could also tell that they were worrying too much. After what felt like the millionth time of them making sure I knew where my clothes were, reminding me that I am in a public setting now so I can't take the dog out in my pajamas, reminding me that they would give me a wakeup call in time for me to get ready for breakfast and more meetings the next day and therefore to sleep rather than check my clock all night the way I do when I am nervous, rehashing the exact order in which I would get up, get dressed, brush my hair and teeth, take the dog out, come back, feed him, make sure I had my student identification card and cell phone, and go to breakfast, not to mention reminding me to always lock my door, and have my cell phone and poop bags with me at all times, it was all I could do to keep from shouting, "I can handle things! Could you just leave!" But when they did leave, and I had locked the door behind them, that was when I had what is to this day my favorite memory of move-in day. I had told my parents that I would go straight to bed when they left, but once they were gone, I was so filled with excitement that I was actually living in a college dorm, a phase which adults had said would be the time of my life, that I could not sleep. So what did I do? I threw myself a party. Don't worry. It wasn't too wild of a party because I don't like alcohol. But since my suite mates who would live on the other side of the wall had not arrived yet since they were older, I didn't have to worry about disturbing the peace. So I popped a Big 'n Rich album into the stereo my parents brought from home and hooked up for me, and had a dance party! It was another couple hours before I fell asleep, and I was in a deep sleep when my parents called, but oh what a wonderful night that was. To this day when I listen to Big 'n Rich, it takes me back to the thrill of that first night in a college dorm.
I often like to think of the week that followed move-in day as the golden week of my college experience because I got a small taste of all the emotions that come with college. On Saturday morning, the day after I moved in, the stress of the day before was replaced with excitement as Gilbert independently got ready for the day and walked down to the cafeteria, where I realized how easily I could gain the freshmen fifteen in no time flat if I wasn't careful, and went to more meetings and activities where I got to meet more new people. On Sunday, an older student took Gilbert and me to a nondenominational church in the area, and being that I grew up Catholic, it was really cool to try something new. But the rest of that day, and labor day, there were no visitors to my dorm room because the older students had moved in, and everyone was busy getting set up for school. There were no exciting events planned in the campus center until casino night which wouldn't start until 9:00, and I wasn't familiar enough wit campus to go anywhere except Rankin, and I knew nothing would be going on there, so I spent those days locked in my dorm room as if it was a prison cell, with nothing to do b familiarize myself with the school's website. As a result, I experienced loneliness so deep that when Mom and Dad invited me home Labor Day for burgers on the grill, the urge to be on my own that I had experienced Friday was a distant memory, and I accepted the offer. But the weirdest thing was that when I got home, even though I had only been gone three days, it felt like I had been gone for years. I didn't have a television in my dorm, and when my dad brought me dinner and took me for a walk Saturday night, he told me that Sarah Palin was John McCain's running mate, but I couldn't follow the news like I usually do. Although the burgers were delicious, I felt more like a visitor than at home. I didn't want to get too comfortable, otherwise I didn't know if I could go back to the dorm again. It was the weirdest feeling, and I'm still not sure if I am describing it right, but it was how I felt. I did go back to the dorm that night, but was so drained physically and emotionally that instead of going to another welcome week activity I had wanted to attend, I went to bed. The next day, Tuesday, one of my classes, a seminar for freshmen started at 8:00 in the morning, and I knew that would mean another stressful day, so I wanted to get plenty of sleep. Sure enough, it was.
My mom told me Monday night before she left that she would give me a wakeup call again at 6:00 Tuesday morning. At that time, I was supposed to get up, shower, get dressed, take Gilbert outside, feed him, get all of my school supplies packed, go to the dining room for breakfast and meet my mom outside the campus center at 7:30. From there, I would have plenty of time to work Gilbert to Rankin, the route we had practiced almost every day with the dog trainer. My mom would just be there to make sure I got there safely, and rescue me if any problems should arise. It turned out there were problems even before my mom got there. The problem was that unlike Saturday where there were meetings I had to go to, and I did get to breakfast, it was not as crucial to be on time as it was that day, my first day of classes, and I just could not get things done efficiently. When I wanted to shower, I couldn't find my supplies, and when I was done, I had to put everything away, something I had never done at home so that my stuff wouldn't get in the way when my suite mates needed to shower later, and putting things away, especially in an unfamiliar room takes longer than one might think. The same ritual was repeated when I had to brush my teeth and hair. Getting dressed was uneventful because I had clothes laid out the night before, but I still had to get Gilbert ready. When I took him out that morning, I was almost outside when I think I forgot the poop bag, so I had to rush back to my room and grab one, and then feeding him always takes longer in the dorm where I didn't have a nice big kitchen table to put the bowl on, while I got the water to mix in with it, so the process was much more awkward and time consuming. To make a long story short, I was supposed to be done with breakfast by 7:30, but instead I was just entering the cafeteria. I asked the lady that was helping me get my food what time it was, and when she said it was 7:30, I called my mom on my cell phone, and asked if I should just skip breakfast. I was beyond overwhelmed, and I didn't want to be late for my first college class. She assured me that I could eat a quick breakfast and we could still get to class in time, so I gobbled down breakfast, and then in my frantic attempt to get to class, I walked out the wrong door of the campus center. But somehow, I forget how with all of the stress that day, my mom found me and at 7:45, we were ready to walk to Rankin. But if you think the frustrations were over for the day and Gilbert and I had a beautiful walk to Rankin and lived happily ever after, you're wrong. That is because I successfully crossed East Avenue, but then the beautiful sidewalk to Rankin that we had trained for, and which had been completely unobstructed the day before was now completely blocked by construction trucks. It wasn't just one little truck that we could detour around for a few yards and then be right back on the sidewalk. It was such a mess that we had to find a whole new route. I actually don't remember what we did, but I think it involved cutting through another building and somehow getting to the other side that way. Long story short is that this route would be way too confusing for me to walk without someone with me, so I never got to work Gilbert with absolute independence all of the way from the dorm to Rankin until second semester.
The class itself wasn't too stressful. We met in Rankin, and then I did sighted guide with my teacher to the library where I listened to a librarian introducing freshmen to the computer resources available at the college, and did an activity emphasizing important advice for academic success in college. Then we went back to Rankin, had a brief discussion about the goals of the class, and then watched an interesting video about ! difficulties people with disabilities face in this country, a perfect fit since this class was about brain disorders. The class ended at 11:30, and I actually don't remember what else I did besides have a brief meeting with my professor for history to discuss the accommodations I would need, and go to a cookout sponsored by Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, a club I wanted to join, but still to this day have not had time to commit to. Wednesday was another day off where my mom helped me get to a convocation event, which is basically an assembly welcoming new and old students back, and formally opening the school year, but the rest of the day was more loneliness, because even when I went to the dining room for meals, the person helping me get my food would just plop me at a table, and often the people at the table already knew each other and didn't notice me, and I was still too shy back then to make dinner arrangements with the friends I had made. In fact, I still remember vividly that my parents were going out to dinner near campus, and had invited me, but I had declined hoping that I could find some friends in the dining room and be social. When I didn't find anyone I knew, and it didn't help that the dinner that night wasn't even good, I hurried back to my dorm room and cried. The next day would be the first official day of classes, so with nothing to do, I think I went to bed early.
The next morning was another episode of inefficient fumbling to get Gilbert and me ready for school, but once I got to Rankin, I didn't have to worry about going anywhere else because all of my academic classes were in that building. In my break from 10:00 to 1:00, I just stayed in Rankin all semester so I didn't have to risk getting lost. But it wasn't long before traveling became the least of my worries. Even on Thursday, I already had a chapter of reading due for Friday in English, and since I didn't have my books in braille yet, Mom took me to Denny's for dinner, and while waiting for our food read the chapter out loud to me, and then took me to the one and only official intervarsity meeting I would feel like attending that year. Friday was the same ritual of frantically getting myself ready to meet Mom for the walk to Rankin, but after class, my mom was going to take me back to the dorm, but with one look at me, she could tell I was exhausted, which I was, and strongly advised me to come home for the weekend and rest. Since I had heard that my college is a suitcase college, meaning many students go home for the weekend, I accepted this advice.
Before I continue, I should mention that Gilbert wasn't handling the dorm well either. When people came to visit my dorm room, he was joyful and friendly as usual, but when we were alone, I could tell he was depressed. I think he was lonely too, and he coped with it by going into his cage and sleeping on the dog bed, and not reacting when I tried to pet him and console him. I wanted to play with him, but there was not enough space in the room to throw a ball, and I didn't know of anywhere safe on campus for him to play off leash, so sleeping was really the only thing he could do. I think when we went home on Labor Day, he knew we would be going back soon, so he didn't get too excited. But I will never forget his reaction when we walked into the house Friday afternoon and I had unhooked his leash and harness. He actually ran several laps around the house as if he was saying, "We're home! It's so good to be home!" I think Gilbert must have sensed what I didn't realize at the time; that the week I had slept in the dorm would be the longest consecutive stretch of dorm life I would ever have. I was essentially moving home for good. It was clear that Gilbert and I preferred to be home. That nigh, I enjoyed a wonderful homecooked dinner, and then my mom went with Gilbert and me for a walk, a walk in which Gilbert guided me around a dead squirrel in the road that my mom stepped on, mistaking it for tar, reminding me again what an awesome guide dog he was (smile). It was just what we needed to relax after a stressful first week. I think Saturday, I took the day off, and on Sunday, my dad spent all afternoon reading my first ridiculously long history chapter to me. My parents were originally going to take me back to the dorm Sunday evening, but my mom said I should sleep at home, and they would drive me to school in the morning. At first I was reluctant because our family is not made up of morning people, and I was afraid I would be late. But I am so glad that I did agree to stay home in the end because we made sure to allow enough time in the morning to get ready and leave on time, and the combination of three nights in my own bed, and getting ready in the familiarity of home meant a restful, smooth start to my second week of college.
It wasn't long before a routine was established. Mom or Dad would drive me to school, and get me to Rankin, I would go to class, and they would pick me up at 1:00 when classes ended. Then we would go to lunch in the dining room simply because we had to since signing up for the dorm meant we had to buy a huge meal plan, and if we didn't use the meals, we would lose money. Some days, my parents would pack me a lunch or take me out for a quick lunch before heading to the Badger Association of the Blind for more lessons in using Jaws. Then, we would go home, where my parents could sit on much more comfortable furniture to read the assigned chapters in the books that hadn't been brailled, which often took most of the evening. Then I would e-mail assignments to my teacher since the dorm allowed me to receive e-mails through the braille note but would not let me send them for some reason, and I didn't trust the technology people on campus to help me since most likely they were not familiar with braille notes. Then I would go to bed and begin another day.
My computer did arrive at the end of September, and we decided to have it installed in the dorm thinking that once I got more settled into college life, I would be at the dorm most of the time. But this was not the case. Sometimes my parents would drop me off on a Friday night if I had a research assignment, and I would spend Saturday doing research at the dorm and they would pick me up when they got off work. I did stay on campus occasionally if there was something going on, like a journalism workshop I wanted to attend. But for the most part, you could say I was living at home, and this was made symbolically official when my parents brought my computer home so I could use it over Christmas break when the dorms were closed, and that is where my computer has resided ever since.
Despite all of the stress that the first semester of college threw my way, at this point in the semester last year, I had considered it a success. Maybe living at home meant my social life was lacking a little, but I did make one really close friend who ate lunch with me twice a week, and who came to my dorm to visit a couple times. Although I missed out on a lot of social opportunities, I was thriving academically. I was getting an A or B in all of my classes, and on one English paper, my teacher told me I had the highest grade in the class. Usually I am not one to brag about my grades, but considering all of the difficulties of first semester, I was glowing when I found this out. Academic performance is the reason why I am in school to begin with, so a limited social life was a small price to pay. Although I still had my first round of final exams of my college career ahead of me this time last year, I knew that after coming this far, the exams were just a formality. I had basically made it through my first semester of college. I had gathered through my older siblings, parents, and the meetings I went to in orientation that the first semester of college was always the hardest since college is a world away from high school. I knew that with each new semester, there would be new challenges, but I also knew that since I had handled first semester so well, I could handle anything.
Artist: Evgeny Grinko
Title: Cold Spaces
#ca339
Date: 2009-12-06
Keywords: electronic; minimalist; melodic; melancholic; experimental
(320 kbps)
I've been writing this album for 2 years - from 2007 to august 2009. different ideas of the sound of the type were born in my mind during this time so now it's difficult to say if it helped this album to sound complete or not. Also it's hard to name the style of the album - it could be electronic, IDM or techno mixed with the orchestral instruments (the second part of album is full of monotonous rhythms mixed with melodic pictures of orchestral instruments) it's not so easy to speak about these records... I've just wanted to make music.
Evgeny Grinko aka is best known for his work as a drummer for several Moscow-based underground bands, namely Magical Unicellular Music, Monroe's Pills, and WOGULOW TAROUTZ VERMO.
Contact:
http://www.myspace.com/evgenygrinko
DL:
http://www.archive.org/details/ca33
http://www.clinicalarchives.spyw.co
12:10 @arm4r Yes, sing in 10 minutes, so I can here it! #
12:24 @arm4r You're a terrific singer Angie!!! You really are! #
12:30 @chuck_brady1976 She sure is. I could hear her all day! #
14:04 Just heard the Wall from Pink Floyd. Absolutely incredible and fabulous! W/ born in the wrong decade! #
14:07 RT @steveofmaine: The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. #
14:08 So, I'm thinking about streaming songs. Mainly R&B, soul, and whatever else pops into my head. Reply or DM me if you want me 2 stream. #
14:09 @BlindTwit No, it'd be a piece rather than a song. #
14:10 @BlindTwit I love you too, and I gave you flowers twice in less than one week, but who's counting... #
14:15 2 my most awsomist friend, Melissa! Dude, go play in the snow for me!!!!! Now, now, now, now!!! #
15:18 @arm4r Wow, have never given a shot to a dog. How easy is it to do when you can't see? #
17:53 is hearing the live broadcast from Shaddow Nightclub in NYC on BLS. #
17:54 @AABlog Heh, you graduated HS in 79? Same year as my dad. We're 20 years apart in graduating. #
18:03 @chuck_brady1976 It's cmn-ice.spacialnet.com/wbls They changed 2 caribian music for a bit. But they play R&B/soul. #
18:10 @chuck_brady1976 I've been out of the loop w/ R&B for a few years, but I don't really have a fav artist. 4 soul, it used to b Barry white. #
18:47 @brianhartgen Yes, like have coffee? That's very useful! #
20:47 W/ listening to Rehab by Rihanna in the bath. Awesome song! #
07:24 @terryclasper I'm listening, although I'm a bit late. Please play a song for me.. You can choose. #
Automaticly shipped by LoudTwitter!As of this semester, I'm done with the required language courses for my major, but I want to be bilingual (eventually), do you think it makes much of a difference for getting into law school/getting a job after law school, if I learn a language through college courses and they see it on my transcript? I feel like I could perform better in other courses without having to spend endless hours studying spanish for college credit when I could learn it independently. Thank you all for the umpteenth time!
09:54 Is at the blind consumer consortium. #
10:37 Quite a slow start due 2 1 mic not working. This person should have a smart link. #
11:45 The other guide dog here just barked. Dont no if it w/ corrected, but majorly should have been if it wasn't. #
14:31 Man, talk about samantics! Visually impaired vs partially sighted. #
01:45 @danielfrye0413 Absolutely luv the Nutcracker! It's the best ballet ever! #
Automaticly shipped by LoudTwitter!Hi
I'm am going blinder by the day and grow up as a large print user but that is no longer used and am in between learing braille but am considering taking music lessons and learning he flute, how hard do you think it would be to learn the flute by ear and using JAWS, can JAWS read music?
Kirby does not have cancer!
I'm incredibly thrilled and relieved. Many thanks to everyone who kept her in their thoughts and prayers.
Meghan
For the past couple of weeks I've caught myself occasionally singing "All I want for Christmas is my right eyeball" (yes, I *know* it doesn't scan, get over it) but, after spending yesterday at the Lahey Clinic, it seems that is not going to happen. The surgeon did not do that little procedure
(squicky details in this post http://kestrell.livejournal.com/541
Prednisone has some of these side effects (I was already experiencing the side effects before I looked them up and confirmed them):
• sleep problems (insomnia)
• dizziness or lightheadedness
• flushing of face or cheeks
• increased sweating
• sensation of spinning
The silver lining here is that I am not overly worried about
• problems with your vision .
I do feel like thinking is kind of hard though, so I'm really glad I finished most of my holiday shopping earlier this week so I won't be stressing about that (and perhaps Father Cthulhu will bring me some cool eyepatches for Christmas). Also, LJ user issendai was kind enough to give us a ride to the clinic, which made the day a lot less gloomy, and the weather! I spent most of the time outside just repeating, "Wow!" and I really felt like it was a small mercy considering the monsoon that was going on yesterday morning.
After the appointment, issendai and Alexx took me to Trader Joe's, my first time, and yes, I believe that baked goods are the world's best pick-me-up, along with people who will spend an hour describing all the goodies at Trader Joe's (thank you to the incredibly nice employee who works at Trader Joe's and seemed dedicated to trying to find me all sorts of delicacies to tempt me). Let me just say, prahlines are kestrell crack (but, although the Trader Joe variety is really good, I think real pralines still need to be made by someone who has lived in the South).
The non-silver lining aspect of yesterday's visit is that the eye issues are not going to be resolved before Arisia, and at my next appointment I will, at the very least, be having another in-office procedure, and possibly have to discuss more drastic measures, like whether my immune system is rejecting the sklera transplant http://kestrell.livejournal.com/515
Also, I'm less certain that I will be up for attending Arisia and won't have a clear idea until my appt. on Jan. 7.
Now I need to go eat something so I can take another pill.
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )
calm00:09 Was listening to Chaka Khan, Ain't Nobody. bring on the 80's R&B! Thx 2 Meka 4 sending me the song. #
02:03 @arm4r No, drinking coffee is the best! Tweeting about it makes u want coffee more! Will have a couple cups in a few hours. #
02:08 @arm4r Good idea! I should sleep, but am awake. #
03:12 @arm4r Of course they're cute. They're GSD's. Best in the bunch. #
Automaticly shipped by LoudTwitter!Via the Art of Darkness blog, this how to on making your own horror-theme snow globes
http://naughtysecretaryclub.blogspot.co
--I can definitely see a creepy arctic wasteland with giant (to scale) albino penguines, a la Lovecraft, or even a creepy snowman with a shiny knife and a Freddy Kruger pattern scarf, sort of "Calvin & Hobbes" meets "A Nightmare on Elm Street."
My day, to say the least, was interesting.
I arrived at MCC around 11:25 AM. I lunched with Susan. I had originally planned to work with the Rotoract club members on the Braille project. But I was hungry and wanted lunch first. Is that honestly a sin? I called and called. No one answered. They had already started without me. Not gonna lie, I'm kind of pissed at the lack of communication. The day passed slowly. I worked out for 45 minutes. (22 hours and 50 minutes to go!) Then hung out with Matt until I got picked up around 4:15. Barb's house had food. I snarfed apple pie.
We picked up the loveseat from the freecycle lady. The couch gets picked up tomorrow (Friday). They are both really comfy and are in very good condition. Not to mention, they came from a smoke free home. The decision has been made. Our living room will be zebra themed. We will purchase sheets to cover the hideous colors of the couch and loveseat. But nonetheless, making it zebra-like is very doable. So, Barb and I had moved the loveseat into her SUV all by ourselves. My arms are screaming cuss words to the high heavens.
Food was ingested and then Barb took a shower. In the meantime, I took the liberty of hacking into her facebook and writing a status message. It read, "Barb likes eggs in the morning." Sleep followed and I didn't really wake up until 9:15 PM.
I got Barb to sort all of her clothes and go through her dresser. A lot of successes for one Barb. She has a lot to donate to the Salvation Army.
I should go to bed now.
Tomorrow or today, whatever.... We will go to the apartment subleasers and sign a contract. The reality of the move is drawing nearer.
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/sad.gif){kind=small}
drainedAt first light he walks among them. They shift around him like gentle waters adapt to the shore. His way is quiet and confident and they mirror his own demeanor. He moves them toward the waiting cattle truck like the early autumn wind blows leaves. He lifts his arms as if to point out the way, and the shushing sound that escapes his lips is similar to that which he used to rock his young son to sleep. It’s all the same to him, the cattle, his children, the land, they all deserve his kindness and devotion. He moves into his day just as easy as he pulled on his warn boots and faded jeans not more than a half hour ago. His days are mostly the same, checking the stock, riding fences, making sure the water tanks stay thawed, doing the books, baling hay, checking the other crops, tending sick calves, and so many other tasks that he loses track of them. One thing blends into another, the days follow one another, and all of them add up to this thing he knows as his life. The kids get raised here, and later maybe grandkids too, and he touches the same soil his granddad did before him, and he reaps the same rewards his granddad did. The times change, and maybe some of the practices, but the theory it’s all the same, the love for the coming day is just like his granddad felt in his own heart, and the results are still the same – people are fed.
Today the fat cattle are going to slaughter and he watches them move into the truck. His son is there to help him. He’s thirteen now and the man wonders where the time has gone. The days blended one into the other and while he wasn’t looking his son grew up right beside him like a willow grows close to the water’s edge, absorbing what it can, hanging on till the next sunrise. Now he sees the boy moving just like the man taught him, right there among the cattle like his momma laid down right there in the herd and gave birth to their son, he’s that much a part of them. And the cattle know that boy like he’s their own. So they move into that truck even though they don’t know what’s to come they trust in him and they know about the way he moves his arms and that shushing sound he makes just like the man taught him. When one of them strays the boy knows how to help it come around again, just like the man did when he was a boy.
When it’s all done the man gets up into that truck with the boy there beside him on the seat, for the ride to the slaughter house. Those cattle will be stunned, strung up, bled out, gutted, dressed and chilled. It’s like this every year since the man was a boy, since he sat up there in the cab with his granddaddy. The cattle are his offering to the world. They always have been. Sure, it’s how he makes his living, pays his bills, maintains a roof, and puts down food for his family, but they are also his contribution to the common good. They are the way he whispers to the universe, “Thank you,” and “This is for the people, all of the people, so they may eat, and live.” He doesn’t have much else to say as he points the truck right into the light of the rising sun. That light, it would blind him, except he knows this road, and could follow it both in the dark of sleep and the glare from the brightest day.
***
He is one of nine thousand refugees. To the rest of the world he is a nameless, faceless, goat herder, but to his family he is the provider of their sustenance. He walked to this refugee camp, his young son helping him to herd their goats down from the hills to the desert sands. Of their fifty three animals only thirty seven still live. There is no grazing here for them, and the desert heat is more than they can handle.
He stands in the early morning, the hem of the dawn sky before him unraveling into flames of hot sun. He surveys his diminishing herd and wonders how many of his animals will survive the day. As he watches and waits, glad to have escaped the dangers of war, his family’s legacy dies at his feet. All of their wealth is in the thirty seven goats that yet live, and he is powerless against the hand of fate that might take them from him, the same fate that has brought him here to this fiery desert. He wonders what will be left for his son, as he watches the child who is nestled among the goats. What future will his boy have? What is left for any of them?
The men of his family have always been goat herders. That is the only life he has known, and it is the only knowledge he has been able to pass along to his son. Instead of family treasures of material things he has handed down the way you bring the herd to water, the skill of helping a doe birth her young, and the way to nurse a sick kid to strength again. These are the treasures his grandfather gave him. When he thinks of his grandfather now it’s like turning the pages in a book because every day had its stories and every one was new. Pictures of the past flash before him, and he wonders if they are only the past, or if they could be glimpses of his future. Things have always moved in circles, and the traditions of how his people lived have been passed from hand to hand, and whispered in the ears of newborns at their mother’s breasts. Now, when a new day dawns, he doesn’t know what it will bring, and how he will be called upon to serve. In the past, he has fed people, but that is hard to do when his gifts to his people lay dying in the desert sun. He has little else to offer but a prayer for the survival of his herds, other beasts, and for his people, so that they may live.
***
As the gentle pre-dawn breeze stirs the strong branches outside my window, I wake. I stretch and take in a large breath filled with the gratitude of another day. I slip from my bed to feed my dog, the first offering I can make on this new day. I smile at the joy of caring for another being.
As the sun creeps into the sky, unsure of the day it brings with it, I step outside and suck in the beautiful air that sustains us all. I begin my morning prayers since it is the only way I know to start my day. In my closed fist I hold the sacred tobacco, the best I have to give on this new day. I press it to my heart as if I could spill all my love and gratitude right from my chest into the tiny bits of plant matter and then fling it free into the world. As if by holding myself just so, the universe could know my love and intentions and make them a reality.
I offer gratitude for my life and pray for anyone I can think of needing special prayers. I pray for the animals, for the earth and sky which sustain us. I pray for the ones that grow our food. I pray for all the ones who have no food, and no shelter. I pray for those effected by war and oppression. I pray for all the elders who are working hard to preserve their traditions, and for the children who are struggling on this earth. I pray for the guidance and strength I will need to get through another day, the fortitude needed so that I may see another sunrise.
I pray so that I may live, so that my people may live.
So that I may live, so that my people may live.
So that I may live, so that my people may live.
I pray that Creator’s will, will become mine also.
I stand humbled by the simplicity of my one prayer. I realize the smallness of my existence under this great sun that climbs the sky above us all, and shines its light on each of us. My day is blessed with gratitude for the abundance in my life, and the realization that while I cannot touch the life of every person on this earth directly, I can stand, every sunrise, to make my offering of one small prayer.
Author's Note:
In the news, in Yemen
Has anyone ever done a split summer? How many weeks did you work at each location? What's the minimum you think one could get away with? Thanks!
edit: I'm a public interest person - so this isn't for a firm, it's for a non-profit :) Also I have an offer and they said I can do a split summer but we would just need to iron out details.
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